Little Jack did OK for a lacklustre England performance, certainly in the first half. Brought down by a tired and clumsy Johan Djourou – if it had been Philippe Senderos, there would have been plenty of scornful jokes heaped upon him. As it was Wilshere, like England, perked up in the second half and the youngster showed plenty of vision in his passing. Stuart Pearce is probably pig-sick, Henri Lansbury is not far behind him, his disappointment at Wilshere not going to the European Championships is evident.

Expecting signings to happen quickly this Summer? Not if Duncan Castles in this morning’sSunday Times (no link, they are behind a paywall) is correct. A budget of £25m plus sale proceeds is his estimate, all of which is to buy a goalkeeper, central defender (Phil Jones), left back, central midfielder and striker. But he’s wrong because Steve Stammers has read all of the web reports this week and brought it together in one nice little piece for you.

Last time I looked, we were not in the market for a goalkeeper, left back or central midfielder. Well, perhaps the latter but not the other two. Certainly the £25m seems low if we are looking for a left back as that suggests Gael Clichy has been given away. Which is not unheard of although it is likely that one of the other positions would be filled in part exchange. Any offers?

Roma are dangling Jeremy Menez in Arsène’s direction. They want Clichy, giving Arsenal Menez. A winger who has never played in the Premier League. And he is not huge. Which means he is against every criteria that Arsène set earlier in this soap opera.

Special guest star in this episode is Cesc Fábregas, £60m to Chelsea, Real Madrid, Internazionale, Manchester City or Barcelona. Surprisingly, Daily Star hacks missed the chance to run with a Fábregas / Sneijder swap deal, something I would not be upset about if the Arsenal captain is to leave.

Which apparently he is because he gave everyone gifts at the end of the season. Andrey Arshavin apparently asked if these were parting gifts, his captain refusing to dignify the quip with a response. Hard to know how a British newspaper got that intimate a quote from a player who is not talking to them. Perhaps Lord Peter fed the story to his pet hacks. Or lawksamercy, they couldn’t have made it up. Could they?

If that was a feeble attempt at stirring, it was stronger than the pathetic attempt in Sport. Still, if the Catalans don’t get Cesc, they are being set up for Kyle Ebicilio, the subject of a piece in El Mundo Deportivo this morning.

Cut-price shopping is a oft-stated criticism of Wenger’s transfer policy, none more so than re-signing a former player. Having done so with Campbell and Lehmann, Sebastien Larsson is apparently the next one. At least Jeremy Toulalan has all but agreed terms with the nouveau riche of Malaga and is off there so we are to be spared the ignominy of being linked with a midfielder who has the turning circle of a barge.

Arsène’s holiday to South America – or scouting trip as he prefers to call it – is tabloid fodder. Mix this with Spurs trying to sign a Brazilian and hey presto, a ‘race for the signature of’ ensures. The poor sap caught up in this melee is Leandro Damaio, who will soon be a rich sap caught up in this melee.

The effervescent Stammers reckons that as his squad disintegrates, Wenger cancelled the trip. Next week Stammers will call Arsenal “A Club In Crisis“.

Elsewhere, Emmanuel Eboué is off to QPR. Neil Warnock and Eboué? Remember the World Cup and the Korean coaches? The denizens of South Africa Road might be seeing the same baffled look on the player’s face on a regular basis.

Nicklas Bendtner dreams of playing for FCK – insert joke involving letter ‘U’ here – which might be his summer destination if the lack of other offers is anything to go by whilst Theo Walcott believes Arsenal have nobody but themselves to blame for last season’s failure. A good starting point would be to stop talking about, instead taking the lessons forward to next season.

worldpress